Hrmph

http://latimesblogs.latimes.com/alltherage/2008/05/bff-the-kiss-of.html

What the hell is wrong with the LA Times recently? Have they lost their collective minds? Since when do we actually use celebrities as our gauge for what constitutes a healthy friendship? It’s actually not so much the article that makes me go *snert*, but one of the comments:

“I personally have learned to keep women at arm's length. They are dangerous. I like them, I just don't trust them. My life is full of women. But my personal approach is to know thy enemy and proceed accordingly … For the most part, the best approach to women is about the same as petting a snake.”

Wow. Just … wow. (Keep in mind that the above was posted by a woman.)

Why is it that the friendships between women are held to a different standard? Fighting can actually be healthy – it’s how we learn about ourselves, about our friends, and it allows us to grow as people. As long as it’s healthy fighting, it also strengthens that relationship/friendship. Are we all supposed to be in lock-step with each other and agree on everything? If so, that makes for a pretty damn bland friendship.

Regarding this line:

“Haven't you ever bickered with a bestie? Or felt the sting of a friendship ulcer when you introduce two pals and later find out that they're planning a road trip to Baja and forgot to include you? ¿Qué?”

I have a varied group of girlfriends, and unlike a monogamous relationship, I don’t expect to be their only “bestie”. (That term just makes my teeth itch.) The core group of women around me now … each one of us has a different role, a different character, and we show those sides to the others. If one of us needs a creative revenge tactic, we go to friend X. If we need a sympathetic ear, we go to friend Y. And if we need some true, albeit hard to hear, advice, we go to friend Z. Sometimes it can hurt, having your friend turn to someone else for advice or support, but if you know yourself, maybe you’ll realize that you aren’t the “right” person for them at that moment.

“They get angry at each other, throw a kidney punch and call it a day.” I think that we women do as well, however our kidney punch consists of words. Communication. (And with less chance of peeing blood too. Kidney punches hurt … )

Women aren’t bad at friendships – we excel at them. If it wasn’t for the women I met, and have in my life as friends, I sure as hell wouldn’t be the person I am today.