The past was painful. Death. Love lost. Attempted suicide(s). Rape. Hope.
The glass is half empty. On its way to being drained. I should just
The present is the same - painful. However, instead of seeing death and loss, I see a life lived. And love. That is what I choose to see now - lots of love. Granted, the present is still coloured with shades of the past; but that old sepia hue lends itself to some amazing tints of the now.
The glass is half empty. On its way to being filled. Maybe, maybe, I should stick around.
The future is unknown. I cannot say what I will see, or what I will live, or who I will love, or what I will live. I can only give safe harbor to the hope that I will experience each to its fullness. Whatever they may be.
Yesterday taints our today, and our tomorrow ... sometimes, you just want to hide away.
Sometimes, when this thing we call life gets to be too much …when it feels like there is just too much ...
… too much responsibility
… too much worry
… too much, “oh fuck, what next?”
… too much, “honestly, I really need just 5 more minutes”
… too much, “I wish I didn’t have to do this but … your time with us has come …”
… too much, “where will the money come from?”
… too much, “I can’t take any more”
… too much, “I’m too fat. I’ll never find love”
… too much, “This world is going to hell, and I’m holding the hand basket”
… too much, “I’m too broken. And so are you.”
… too much … too much …
Sometimes you have to just let it be, and let it shine.
It is times like these that you just need to take a break. Be selfish.
When the weight of the world is resting on your shoulders, and you are feeling Atlas-like, aren’t there times when you want to shove off that massive globe and just … run around, fly kites, wrestle, jump and play? Even when those waves crash into you? Reminding you of your misery?
When the sounds of silence don’t quite clamor enough… when your words and arms just don’t reach enough … those are the times to revel in silence. The silence that is your, and our, own. Accept that your silence is sometimes acceptable, and okay. When just being there, without words, without judgment, is … enough.
Revel in those moments. Revel in that silence.
Tears can be those of happiness or sadness.
Laughter can be that of joy or pain.
Lies at times, can be a fine line between happiness and pain.
Live in the grey. Live straddling the black and white. Live in those spaces between.
My wish, my hope, is that everyone is able to steal just 5 minutes (five small minutes) a week, and re-live a mere 300 seconds (seconds!) of pure, and in the moment, fun.
300 seconds of laughter.
300 seconds of remembering bruised shins, and knees.
A mere 300 seconds of …
Come on. You ARE beautiful. C'mon ... greet this brand new day.
Look around … find those spaces in between …
There are still times that I long for yesterday ... but I am living in the now. I force myself to do so ...
So, there are these monkey bars near my house … any one want to come out to play?